brand new heavies

being twenty pounds overweight has it's advantages:

• my posture has improved tremendously. in an attempt to camouflage my orb-like shape, i stand tall. it's easy to remember because when i slouch my waistband cuts into my sides, although my typical garb consists of some type of drawstring closure.
• and so what if i keep the lights off during sex? the good news is i don't see his twenty pounds either. everyone's happy, right?
• my boobs - or as my grandmother so loving called them, my titties - are bigger. i'm practically busting out of every brassiere i have so maybe we don't notice the extra pounds. smoke and mirrors!
• i don't have to listen to my mother telling me i look to skinny or gaunt. she accuses me of inanition - as if i'm anorexic which is impossible for me. of course, i only see her once a year - no biggie - but this last visit was halcyon. it's quite enough to dodge assaults from my grandmother let alone the two of them.
• my ass is large or at least more protuberant. for most women that would be a problem however in my case it's the opposite. once, in an ohio airport, a guy actually sang "baby got NO back" to me. maybe i ignored him and he was being obnoxious in return but it doesn't mean it's not true.

i think the salient point here is that i see the glass as 3/4 full.